


Saving Albion  (Gwaine's Satisfaction Guaranteed Guide To Sleuthing)

by ibelieve_whiteflag_aslansdefender



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur is King and he is in charge, Banter, Brave Merlin, Bromance, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Emotional Baggage, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone knows about Merlin's magic, F/M, Friends to guardians, Gen, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Gwaine Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Gwaine breaks all the rules so it doesn't matter whose in charge, Hurt/Comfort, I swear, Innocent Merlin, Knights are good bros, Merlin and Arthur social media dynamic duo, No Sex, No Smut, Post-Magic Reveal, Prank Wars, Protective Arthur, Rating: PG but completely clean, Sassy Merlin (Merlin), Selfless Merlin, Social Media, Sweet Knights, They try to keep him safe, YouTube, adventures and misadventures of a king his knights and the man actually in charge, blows up the internet, done cleanly, essentially their video diaries, im not good at fanfiction and would love to get better, imean it, little brother merlin, merlin cries, no gay not really my thing but no offence meant, no really, only PG because of the baggage, ptsd dying can do that to you, ptsd merlin, really - Freeform, the camera sees all, they do different stunts on video basically just so i can develope characters, this is Merlin's house and he is in charge, this is all Gwaine's fault, we only wanted Arthur to stop being scared of modern era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-10-29 10:17:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibelieve_whiteflag_aslansdefender/pseuds/ibelieve_whiteflag_aslansdefender
Summary: ~Chapter One:“What on earth are you doing?” The british voice asked bemused.“I am uncovering the secrets of the universe-”“-He’s playing with Merlin’s things.”“Gwaine!”Chapter Two: “I told you I was innocent.” Arthur grinned smugly at Gwaine.Chapter Three: The muffled thumping intensified until the inconspicuous door banged open, and a spaniard toppled out.“Gwaine? What’s wrong? Gwaine- please wake up! Please wake up!”Chapter Four:"Arthur no.""Arthur yes.""Arthur no-"~Post Sucessful~Basically, Merlin is introducing Arthur to modern technology and Gwaine ends up accidentally posting videos of them and introducing the worlds to the real Arthur and Merlin (and the knights, duh) .ORThe Unedited True Story of how Gwaine Single-Handedly Saved Albion





	1. Posted

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is my first fanfiction in loads of years and the last one really didn't go so well. So I'm finally brave enough to try again. I would love postive feedback/criticism, I REALLY want to get better. Also, I've never actually posted something on youtube, so I took a tiny bit of creative licence on the uploading process, please forgive it! Or, better yet, if anyone cares enough to actually tell me how to do it, I'll try to fix it for the next chapter! I hope you enjoy this, thank you so much for your time and have a good day!
> 
> Oh, sparks, I published this before realizing: I do not own Merlin, all rights go to BBC

The world flickered in and out before steadying, lighting on two men sitting together on a couch. The larger of the two, with straight blond hair hanging over his blue eyes locked on the camera, worry burning in the blue, his posture stiff and locked, as if he were ready to leap to his feet and attack the camera. The small one with the shaggy black hair was watching his friend, worry on his face.  
Without a word, he reached over, his hands blocked the view for a moment and then it was dark.

 

~

They flickered back in on the boys in the same position, but the blond looked greatly relieved and was watching the camera with far less wary eyes and the raven haired had a hand gently resting on the blond’s big football star shoulder. Both men seemed entirely cofortable with the gesture.  
“See, Arthur. It’s alright. Remember, no one will ever see this- this is just us.” The little one reassured the blond in an irish lilt, gently tightening his hand in the other’s shoulder, as if sealing the promise.  
“And it’s not magic?”  
“Nope- it’s technology- you remember when I told you about that? It’s like the cars and planes-” vague understanding dawned in Arthur’s eyes.  
“And we’re using this realtive of the giant steel birds and carigages without horses, why?”He asked.  
The darker haired one grinned.  
“Just so you can get used to it. So we can connect the dots a little. Remember the telivison?”Arthur’s eyes darkened and his jaw clenched.  
“No.” He said tersly.  
The other one frowned.  
“It’s the box with the-”  
“-People trapped inside!” Arthur eurupted “I’ve told you a million times, Merlin, I don’t care what they’ve done- to trap them in that box is cruel-”  
“Moving pictures.” The other man apparently named Merlin finished quietly, his eyes looking apologetic and concerned, his mouth twitching up into a smile.  
Arthur didn’t seem to hear him, his face was going red with his fury, his features hardening his hands fisting and starting to tremble, as if he were restraining himself from attacking Merlin.  
“-and I haven’t done anything because I know your a good man and I know these years have been hard on you-” now it was Merlin’s turn to darken, his features stopped twitching and his entire face stiffened and blanked. Like he wore a mask. But Arthur didn’t seem to notice.  
“But Merlin, I can’t stand it anymore- criminals or not this is just a different torture- it’s inhumane! There are kids in there-” Arthur shouted, his veins popping, his face scarlet, his eyes desperate and pained. Suddenly Merlin lurched forward, slamming his hands against the screen.  
All went black.

 

~

 

The camera lit up on the same grey couch, and the boys were wearing the same clothes, but time had passed. Merlin plopped back from turning on the camera, falling into the couch, his face exausted, but a smile playing on his face as he lazily turned his head to watch Arthur, who was grinning at the camera like it was buried treasure he’d just discovered, all opposition and anger from his posture gone, as he sat up eagerly, his knees bobbing up and down as he tried to contain his apparent excitement. Arthur tore his gaze from the camera to his friend slowly sinking into the couch.  
“So-everything I do right now, is being watched by this cam-ruh and when we’re done we can set it beside the steel prision that doesn’t actaully hold people and it’ll talk to the prison and tell it what we’re doing right now! And the prison will be able to trap the memory and then show it to us?”  
Merlin laughed.  
“Yes. Yes. That’s exactly it. Well, almost. I’ll explain memory cards to you later. Alright, Arthur-” Merlin said as he sighed heavily and pressed off of the couch reaching for the camera.  
“Say goodbye to the camera.”  
Arthur glared at Merlin, pulled from his excitement.  
“Mer-lin, I know I don’t need to remind you that I am the King of Camelot- you don’t decide when we are done, I decide when we are do-”  
Merlin grinned.  
“Goodbye Arthur-”  
Black.

~

Light again. But it was blocked someone’s large nose.  
“What even is this?”  
Whoever was holding the camera tilted it up, catching a glorious image up his nose and half of a pretty blue-grey eye looking down at the camera, rust-colored brow bent in confusion.  
“Gwaine- what’re you doing with Merlin’s… thing.”  
“Exactly-” said the man- Gwaine? flipping the camera around to examine it’s underside, sending the view to the unremarkable wooden panneling and Gwaine’s well worn boots. “We don’t even know what this is-”  
“We know it’s not ours.” The same amused spanish accent lectured.  
“Oh Lance, lay off it, will you? Merlin’ll never know, besides-”  
The camera jostled, flipping around as Gwaine obliviously continued to study it, landing at an odd, upside-down, upwards slant of a spaniard a few feet away, dressed in a simple tunic style white-shirt, with his shoulder length chestnut hair tied back in a simple tail, his eyebrows risen ominously high above his lecturing chocolate eyes, his hands folded across his chest as he stared Gwaine down.  
“-He’s shown Arthur all these brilliant… things and what does he show us, huh?”  
“He’s busy enough with all the trouble you’ve caused since he showed you the tavern- he doesn’t have time to show you anything else!”  
“I would’ve figured the tavern soon enough, nothing’s ever stopped me from getting to a tavern-”Gwaine was saying distractedly when another voice entered the scene from behind him.  
“No one’s ever accused you of having trouble getting into a tavern, Gwaine. It’s the getting you to leave that causes problems-”the voice laughed, his british accent making it sound more posh than the others.  
“Exactly why you should just leave me in them, then-”Gwaine muttered and Lance sighed and his eyebrow rose even higher.  
“And risk you driving Merlin homeless-yes, marvelous plan. Let’s give Arthur a heart attack while we’re at it.”  
“What on earth are you doing?” The british voice asked bemused.  
“I am uncovering the secrets of the universe-”  
“-He’s playing with Merlin’s things.”  
“Gwaine!”  
“Leon!” Gwaine mimicked, twisting the camera again, centering more squarely on Lance.  
“Merlin won’t ever know and stop it with the eyebrow, it’s making me lose my focus- eek!”the world fumbled as the camera tumbled out of Gwaine’s hands and crashed onto the floor.  
Dark.  
“Gwaine! You dropped Merlin’s thing!”  
“What in the blithering blinking blue blazes did you do?”  
“I saw you!”  
“You’ve seen more frightful things than my face, Gwaine-”  
“No-Lance!- I saw your face in Merlin’s thing!”  
“That’s impossible!” The british voice- Leon? said stiffly.  
“No- I saw it, I swear!”  
“You’ve had too many drinks, mate-”Lance laughed.  
“No! I swear, I’m not drunk- well, not much, I mean- but I know what I saw- and it was you!”  
“Arthur? Knights? Are you down in the den?” Merlin’s voice called from across the house. “Have any of you seen my camera?”his voice was growing louder, drawing closer.  
“Blue blazes!”Gwaine cursed violently.  
Light. But reddish. Like the inside of our eyelids when the suns on your face. Blocked. The camera joslted up and down.  
“What’re you doing?”  
“And why on earth are both of you speaking about blue blazes?” the other two trailed after Gwaine  
“Hello? Anybody down here?” Merlin’s voice was coming closer.  
“You hadn’t come back yet when Merlin sat us down and told us some of our expletitives are considered hurtful to many people in this time so he told us some popular modern substitutes- Gwaine what on earth are you doing?”  
“Hiding the magical face show-er thing from Merlin- what does it look like I’m doing?”  
“I don’t know if their as popular as Merlin says, I’ve been to every tavern in the city after Gwaine and I’ve never heard them say anything about ‘blue blazes’ in fact they don’t seem to have any problem at all with saying the words we used to, like-”  
“Blue blithering will you two act natural!” Gwaine hissed, pulling his fingers away to show a glimpse long enough to identify the large grey object before them as the couch before he shoved the camera into it and all vision went grey.  
“Hello?”  
“Merlin- good to see you! How’ve you been?”  
“Um… same as I was this morning. Are you guys okay down here…?”  
“Oh we’re fine. Lovely- perfect, how’re you?”  
“Er… right… okay…. Have any of you seen my camera?”  
“No- I can’t say-” Gwaine shifted above the camera and all went black.

 

And the light was back on, settling on a hulking blond giant in a red hoodie staring down at the camera with an amused expression .  
“Aha!” Gwaine’s voice exclaimed off camera.  
“I told you I’d figure it out! I told you, but did anyone believe me-”  
“It’s not that we didn’t believe you, we just expressivly wanted you to leave Merlin’s things alone.”Lance’s voice drifted from off-camera, sounding stern.  
“And guess what-I’ve been listening to his magical-contraption-thingy lectures with our spoiled Princess, and he showed him how to have this little guy talk to the big metal prison, all you have to do is stick this highly-invasive-stabby-stub-thingy into the cam-er-uh, then you stick it into the big thingy, then you stab on red button Merlin called you-tubbed and then this little thingy and- here let me show the cam-er-uh-” the view rotated away from the big blond man and to a computer screen which blinked the words.

USB Connected  
Unknown source 2123138104eehqe# Connected  
Post Sucessful  
Streaming Live

And, though the camera and it’s befuddled handlers weren’t to know it yet, the internet blew up.


	2. Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I told you I was innocent.” Arthur grinned smugly at Gwaine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm thinking this is rubbish. But it was still fun to write, so I suppose worst comes to worst this is practice refining dialog for other stories. Anyway, some days I suppose I just need to write something different. I would love to hear from you, if you liked it, if you didn't, and any constructive critisism you can offer me- thank you for taking the time to click here- have a great day! Ilove you guys!

  
  


The light turned on, held out an arms distance away and facing Merlin, who smiled at it, the corners of his mouth twitching down as though he were trying to surpress the action.

"Hello everybody! My name's Merlin- but you already knew that. Believe it or not, that first video was never meant to be posted. But the knights..." he trailed off and glanced around before leaning conspiritorally closer to the camera and mouthing: _ Gwaine.  _ Before leaning back, his face wiped of all conspiracy. 

"... decided to go messing around with technology, which, I suppose might be my fault. So anyway, I wouldn't have ever done this video either, just let you all believe it was a fluke and let it die. But after skimming your comments, I realized you don't really seem to actually believe we're the aurthuian legends- which is great, because their all a load of rubbish anyway. So, I made the executive decision that all my knights need a bit of education in the technology department. Especially Youtube." Again, he looked like he was trying to resist smirking.

"So I've got them all gathered, and we're going to go in there and I'll re-explain youtube, and posting, and I'll show them your comments because I don't think they realize that actual living people can see the video." Merlin took a breath and grinned.

"This is gonna be fun."

Then he schooled his features, arching his eyebrow threateningly. He glared at the camera.

"Be tough." He said, before flipping the camera away from him. They walked down the hall, painted in a peaceful sea green and to a stained wooden door, which was adjar with natural light shining out the crack. The camera inched up to the crack peering inside. 

It caught a slightly narrow shot of a small blue sectional with six men squished onto it. Arthur sat at the end nearest the door, glowering at the wall across from him. Beside him was a short man with dark skin, his brows furrowed in confusion over chocolate eyes. Then there was Lance with his tailed-hair facing the camera as he leaned forward around a man in the middle with his reddish hair also to the camera, both of them looking at Gwaine, who was bouncing up and down, jiggling his knee, with his eyes darting across the room anxious energy.

“Blue sparks and maiden’s legs- I didn’t mean to upset him. I didn’t think he’d get sad- he’s the best thing in this world- it’s like covering the sun with clouds”

“Not gonna argue with you there.” Lance agreed and the blond giant stapling the other end smiled as Gwaine’s head whipped around to him, eyes wild. The man between them, stifling a laugh, straightened his face and turned to each of them placatingly. His voice reasonable, a man far too used to getting between them.

“Lancelot, I’m sure Gwaine is already wallowing deep enough without us digging the grave deeper. And Gwaine, I’m not certain he was sad-”Gwaine interrupted the deep british, identifying the man as Leon, with a burst of desperation, his eyes humerously mournful.

“He was! His eyes were all big and sad like a little kicked puppy-”

“What did you do?” The dark skinned one asked, the end pitching upward accusingly.

“He was hardly sad, Gwaine. He was more livid than I’ve ever seen him.” the giant rumbled, a smile still stretched across his face as he watched the wild man, who spun to face him.

“He was not glowering! He had the same look on his he gets whenever Princess-”

Arthur jumped, his faced being yanked from his glower, alarm in his eyes as he spun to face Gwaine.

“Leave me out of this- I don’t know what you’ve done but I must’ve been framed-”

The camera pulled away from the scene as Merlin retreated back several steps, turning the camera around to face him, his blue eyes were solemn and tinged with regret.

“Alright, as fun as that is to watch, I didn’t mean to worry them- sorry everyone, new plan.” Then he fumbled with the camera for a bit and all went black.

  
  


~

 

Light again, filtered through a close-up of a large white object. After a minute, the camera stabilized, the object, Merlin’s fingers, pulled away to reveal the others, still in the same spots on the couch behind him. 

“I told you I was innocent.” Arthur grinned smugly at Gwaine.

The dark skinned one smiled at the words, a nostalgic lilt to his voice when he said:

“All those times we teased him, and we trained him too well-  he doesn’t even need the magic to retaliate!”

Gwaine stared forlournly at Merlin.

“My best friend. My best friend and you betreyed me.” Merlin winced, guilt burning in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, probably an apology, by his furrowed brows, but Lance-elot? reacted before he could, arching an eyebrow at Gwaine.

“Oh really- you betreyed him first! He takes you in, feeds you-no small task! Gave you his bed and slept on the floor for a whole month after you returned-”

“It’s not my fault he only thought Princess would come back-”

“Introduced you to you favorite thing the whole world-” Leon added.

“I already knew Merlin-”

“-And then has spent every night since tracking you down all across the city-” Lance-elot? continued.

Merlin, his ears flushing bright red, leaned forward, and all went black.

 

~

 

And the light came back again. Still in the same position, presumably on a coffee table of some sort, but all the couch’s occupants had rearranged, looking red and sweaty every one of them. 

Merlin’s ears were still tinged pink when he spoke up from where he sat, now on couch, squished between Arthur and Gwaine on the couch.

“Alright, we’re all good now…” he glanced at the knights around him, leaving the sentence hanging like a question. Arthur and Gwaine nodded, nobly and humbly. The blond giant smiled kindly. Lance-elot? and Leon, who were both sitting on the floor at the other’s feet looked at each other and grinned, laughing assent. The poor dark skinned one still looked confused from his perch on the armrest opposite Merlin. 

 

“...Alright, great.” he turned back to the camera and grinned.

“Domestic knights. They’ve got a lot of… energy. Anyway,” he continued, reaching down underneath the couch and pulling out a sleek blue laptop. 

He opened it, continuing to talk to the knights as he began clicking away, Arthur and Gwaine craning over his shoulders.

 

“I wasn’t very clear on several things. The biggest being, when you accidentally gave the images to the computer- er,  _ the small picture prison _ , you gave them to a site called Youtube, and actual people, in real life, have been able to see it…” Merlin trailed off as he continued tapping, oblivious to the others immediate reaction to his words.

 

Arthur’s eyes widened and his hands darted to his side, before he looked down at the empty space in confusion. Lance-elot? paled and clenched his jaw, straightening and inching closer to Merlin protectivly. Gwaine’s eyes filled with horror and his mouth fell open. The easy smile slid off of Percival’s face, making the friendly giant suddenly look deadly. The dark one stiffened sharply, guilt clouding his eyes as he hardened his gaze at the distant wall, his hand subconciously fisting. Leon flinched before squaring his jaw and turning behind him to Arthur.

“Sire, this location is defendable- we can have it secured in a few hours.”

Arthur met eyes with Leon and nodded, a decorum of calm entering his eyes. 

Merlin, apparently having just processed Leon’s words, bolted up from his laptop.

“What?” He asked, looking around at the others, all of whom were looking at Arthur and Leon.

“We’ll need our weapons.” The giant said, his soft voice with a surprising edge to it.

The dark skinned one looked over at him, nodding.

“Merlin’s hid them in the basement.”

“Mine’s not. Freya’s gaurding it in the lake.”  Arthur said.

“Guys- what-?” Merlin tried but Lance-elot? spoke over him, looking at Arthur.

“Elyan made me an extra when he rose in case something like this happened- it’s yours to use.”

The dark skinned one- Elyan? nodded confirmation.

“It’s as good as anything I made in the old days.” 

Arthur nodded his thanks.

“We’ll need to barracade the hold, maybe if we move the furniture-” Gwaine began.

“-move my furniture?!”

“We’re too few, it’d be better to hold the citadel-” Arthur interrupted.

“I don’t have a citadel! This is a house! What in the blue blazes-”

Arthur rounded on him, exasperated.

“ _ Mer- _ lin it’s a wonder you managed to keep your secret for so long- didn’t you ever once think about what would happen if the world-” he glared at the camera, like it was the darkest evil he’d ever seen.

“-found out?” Gwaine finished, looking at Merlin incredulously, like he ought to know this. Merlin’s mouth fell open and he wordlessly looked at the knights.

“That’s… but- what-?” Merlin’s eyes landed on the camera, but before he could do anything, Gwaine interrupted.

“Wait, I’ve got this-” then he lurched up, blocking the view, before he crashed his palm into the camera.

Black.

 

~

REBOOTING

 

REBOOTING

 

REBOOTING

 

~

 

“Aha!” Merlin cried triumphantly as light filled the lense, a magnified close up of his cerulian blue eye.

“I fixed it!” 

“It shouldn’t have needed fixing-” Lancelot’s voice lectured in the background and Merlin fiddle with different knobs and buttons, making it zoom farther in, ino his iris. He seemed to be checking his camera’s well-being. 

“I only did what Merlin’s been doing!”

“So, my being King. Having spent my entire life striving to be noble and just and- _ always _ to be honest- means  _ nothing _ now?”

The view blurred indesipherably before clearing up at it’s usal setting.

“Perfect! Don’t worry, knights, it’s fine-” Merlin said as he set it back where it belonged, leaning back against the couch. Everyone was in almost the same spot, except Gwaine, who was lying flushed and sweaty on the floor beside Merlin, with the large blond giant resting casually atop him, leaning back against the couch and effectivly pinning the scamp to the floor. The others looked like they were trying to restrain laughter, and Gwaine looked like a surly teenager caught eating in the library.

“And don’t feel bad, Arthur, it’s not that you being honest means any less, it’s that this generation has evolved from when honesty means everything. Well, a lot of them have. Anyway, they think Arthurian Legends-

Arthur perked up, straightening with a slight smile twitching his face.

“They’re named after me?”

Gwaine rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to retort but all that escaped was a dying sort of wheeze. The giant smirked.

“Would you mind moving your abnormally large body  _ off my stomach! _ ” Gwaine wheezed pointedly, glaring. Smiling easily, the giant slid off and climbed onto the couch, Gwaine gulping in dramatic breaths below him.

“Of course their named after you, your the king- but their rubbish- don’t read them, the point is, the arthurian legends are so fantastical-”

“Yes, I was fantastic, wasn’t I?” Arthur grinned.

“Yep, all you. Definately. We played no part whatsoever.” Gwaine said, somehow managing to be breathless and sarcastic at the same time.

“It means  _ unrealistic _ , clotpole, their so  _ unrealistic  _ we couldn’t possibly be real people living real lives. Now anyway, will you all kindly shut up so I can actaully show you what they think of you-”

“They think I’m fantastic, I’m sure.” Arthur grinned like he’d found his new favorite word.

“I’m sure.” Merlin deadpanned. Then he turned his attention back to the computer. His eyes widened.

“Oh, whoa…” he said as his eyes continued to flit accross the screen.

“What is it?” Gwaine asked, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Merlin. Merlin jumped and jerked the computer away from him.

“Nothing! Just… we don’t have a lot of time-”

“We’re not doing anything else today.” Arthur frowned. Merlin’s ears colored.

“Look there’s a lot of- let me just, pick a few random ones…” Merlin mumbled, his eyes scanning the comments with much more depth than randomness usually required.

“What’s wrong?” Lancelot pressed, brows furrowed in concern for his friend.

Merlin went brighter, opening his mouth uselessly like a fish several times before clearing his throat. 

“Well… nothing-nothing. Just, well, your all very differnent from this generation, obviously, and many people in this modern generation have a lack… what I mean is, in this time, infatuation doesn’t have to grow person or, you know, with a person you know. And a lot of these lovely, wonderful people having been expressing, er-perfectly natural, normal…” he was scarlet when Arthur’s face lit up in recognition.

“Oh. Oh!” He cried, his eyes growing comically wide. “Gwenevere will kill me, Merlin. Absolutely not. Skip those.”

Merlin cleared his throat and just as realization dawned in Gwaine’s eyes, he blurted, if slightly desperately:

“‘oh my’” Merlin blinked at the word before continueing “blurry blue it’s so real! Who are these guys??? Seriously amazing actors-where did you even get the idea?”

Leon frowned.

“Did this person not see our last video? I thought the world knew who we are? And why do they think we’re jesters?”

“Um...er, I’ll explain a little better later… this one says: ‘who is that sparking hot blond-”

The blond giant frowned, confused, as Merlin’s head snapped and whipped over to him.

“What on earth does the word ‘hot’ mean? Was I making this person uncomofrtable by my bodily tempurature? Is it impolite to talk to the cam _ ri- _ a after my workout?”

“Um… no, I think the person was probably very comfortable with you-”

Merlin started awkwardly and Arthur snorted. The raven-haired man spun to glare at him. 

“Anyway, his name is Percival,” Merlin said to the camera, before turning back to the group around him.

“Is that it? Has everyone been introduced to the world?” 

Slowly, his expression timid, the dark skinned one shook his head.

Gwaine’s eyes bugged as he looked at him.

“We forgot Elly? How did we forget you?!” The dark skinned one- Elly? seemed to sadden.

“I was just down by the lake.” Arthur’s joking eyes softened. He locked on Elly?’s wandering gaze and held it for a moment, unspoken words seeming to flow between them. Before Elly nodded slowly and Arthur’s pinched expression relaxed.

The whole mood had sombered, even Gwaine’s face was twisted with sympathy.

“I’m sorry, Elyan. She’ll come back.”Ely-an? nodded, smiling greafully, if still a little sad.

Merlin cleared his throat.

“Right, back to these comments- oh not that one, oh heavens, oh- here’s one- ‘oh blithering blazes-”

“How can you tell who- wait,” said Gwaine, from where he’d slid over near her shoulder, his voice confused.

Merlin jumped and jerked the computer away.

“Stop looking you pervert!”

“-like you'd look at anything fun- but- their not saying those words, Merlin- they’re using our words!” Merlin’s ears went pink.

“Alright, we’re done-” he said leaning forward, and explosion of voices behind him was the last thing the camera registered before- black.


	3. Pranked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The muffled thumping intensified until the inconspicuous door banged open, and a spaniard toppled out. 
> 
> “And your going to help me- listen, here’s the plan-”
> 
> “I am not helping you!”
> 
> “Why are you pranking Merlin? I take no part in this-”
> 
> “Gwaine? What’s wrong? Gwaine- please wake up! Please wake up!”

How To Break A Merlin

  
  


Light. The world lit up on Gwaine’s face, finally held an reasonable length away so he looked like a normal human being.

“Hello world- I’m back, did’ya miss me? Who am I kidding, of course you-”

“Again? Gwaine- honestly-”Lancelot’s voice lectured off camera. Gwaine glowered off the right for a few second before returning his attention to the camera and grinning.

“Some of us didn’t get our beauty sleep last night…” he whispered conspiritorally.

“Some of us had to keep Merlin from a heart attack and spent all night finding you!”

Gwaine grinned.

“Ah. That ale was good… but anyway-” he said, snapping back to the camera, I know they’ve missed me, I’ve been reading the comments!”

“Gwaine- Merlin told us explicitly-”Gwaine rolled his eyes and grinned lazily off to the right again.

“I know what he said, but how often do we listen to him? Besides- did you see the comments! They love me! Well, mostly. Besides I’m going to go crazy if I have say ‘blithering blue’ or ‘holy sparks’ one more time- I need adult conversation!”

“You spend every night in the tavern!”

“But that’s not adult conversation! That’s ‘hey sweets, you sure are pretty, but I’m not like these other ugly perverts here, I’m handsome, wait till you hear my sob story’-”

“That’s- your… Gwaine of all the-”

“Lance, Lance, Lance, my friend, you are focusing entirely too much on the insignificant details, what’s important, is that someone has bequothed me a challange.”

Gwaine’s voice shifted slightly, sounding slightly more posh and noble.

“What on earth are you-” but Gwaine pressed on, lips upturned in a slight smirk.

“In the comments of our glorious videos, I have been given a challenge, a task to complete, failure to do so forever spotting my integrity and honor as a knight of Camelot-”

“Gwaine-”but the man pressed on

“Mr.- ah…” Gwaine glanced down at something off camera, and read aloud “ _ M.Merlin’s#1Girl  _ has challenged me to: ‘prank Merlin’.”

“Gwaine! Prank Merlin? Are you-”

Gwaine grinned knowingly to the unseen man.

“Lance- if I fail then how can I be trusted to upohold my duties as a knight-”

“Gwaine, that is not-”

“And by challanging me, he has effectivly challanged everything I stand for, and everyone I stand with, so you, my good friend, are going to help me!”

“I am not! If you think I’m going to prank-”

“What is Gwaine doing? Who is he pranking?” The Elyan’s soft voice asked incredulously.

“He thinks he going to be pranking Merlin-”

“Merlin?!”

“And your going to help me- listen, here’s the plan-”

“I am not helping you!”

“Why are you pranking Merlin? I take no part in this-”

“Oh come on Elly, you don’t really wanna be sitting by the lake all day again, do you? Besides, I’ve already got the plan-”

The light went out.

 

~

**Recording…**

**Recording….**

_ Live Feed Recording in _ :

Three…

Two..

One.

And they were back, once again staring at Gwaine’s nose. Though this time, thankfully, the outside of it. Gwaine pulled back so the camera could see his face, showing an almost aerial shot of the den behind him. 

The innocent idiot grinned.

“Alright, hello again my lovelies! The plan’s all set! Lance is… all cozy in the closet and Elyan’s bringing Merlin in! And I have hidden you lovelies up on the booksehelf so you’ll get to see it all! Now, we’re going to do a classic fainting prank, and- and here’s the best news my lovelies, I, Sir Gwaine of Camelot, have figured out how to stream live! Again…” Gwaine grinned undefinably at the memory. 

“So everything you are seeing is live and real as it happens, no editing or blacking out or anything! Isn’t that just great? Anyway, Merlin should be here any second- so you just be good darlings and stay quiet, alright?”

Gwaine stepped down off of something, momentarily disappearing from view before he plopped onto the couch, grabbing a thick book with a simple blue cover and the words:  _ The Prat, His Knights, And The City Called Camelot  _ inscribed on the side.

Then he paused and frowned at the book.

“Wait. I don’t read.”The he dropped it casually to the floor beside him and collapsing back against the couch, his hands behind his head and his eyes closed with a dreamy smile on his face.

There was silence for a long moment, the camera watched with baited breath while Gwaine napped.

Then the camera’s audio sensors heard a soft thud and Gwaine stiffened slightly, smirking, before immediately relaxing, his eyes still loosely closed.

“Arthur? Percy? Lance-”Merlin’s voice called, his tone urgent. Heavy thudding echoed, at first faint but growing louder. A slight squeaking sound escaped from the closed stained door. A muffled shout.

Gwaine frowned.

“Shut up, Lance.” he hissed, before rearranging his features. The muffled sounds were drowned by his screams.

“Please? Anybody! Help! Elyan’s collapsed-” The door tore open, crashing into the wall with a reverberating  _ slam. _ Gwaine jerked ‘awake’ his eyes bugging and his hand going to his side, his face twisted in confusion.

“Merlin- what in the blithering blue-”

“Gwaine- thank heavens! I need your help! Elyan just collapsed during his driving lesson and I don’t know what’s wrong-”Merlin’s words were all but lost to his irish broque, seeming indesipherable with worry as he rushed into the room, brows bent over burning cerulian eyes.

“Er… what?” Gwaine blinked, off balance.

“-and he’s unresponsive and I can’t carry him-”

Gwaine blinked owlishly for a moment before clarity dawned in his eyes. He leaped to his feet, his hand once again lunging to his side.

“My sword, where’s-” But Merlin, eyes wild-burning with worry, huffed in exasperation, snatching Gwaine’s arm and dragging the resistant man to the edge of the camera lense.

“He’s not being eaten by a Wilderen!”

They were only just off camera when Gwaine spoke.

“We need to grab…” his voice sounded different. Off. Pinched. “...my… sword?” their shuffling footsteps halted.

“Gwaine? Are you-?”

“...aunng… don’t worry mate, I’m not…” his voice sounded weak, aged. Raspy. 

“Gwaine?” Merlin’s voice pitched high at the end. Scared.

“...feelin’sogoo’...?” then Gwaine pitched back into the frame, eyes rolling up in his head, face blank, collapsing to the floor with a heavy thud.

All was still. 

Then the moment broke.

“Gwaine?” Merlin gasped. Then his voice rose higher- his dropped to the ground beside the drunkard.

“Gwaine? Gwaine!?” 

His face morphed from shock to panic. His brows furrowed over wild eyes, his hands stretching out instinctivly, but he froze above Gwaine, seeming afraid to touch him.

“Gwaine? What’s wrong? Gwaine- please wake up! Please wake up!” Merlin shouted, his voice cracking with desperation.

Unnoticed by his friend above, Gwaine’s face twitched, a ghost of a frown and it was gone. The muffled thumping behind the door grew louder, but Merlin didn’t seem to hear.

“Gwaine- please, please…” Merlin paused for a moment, seeming to hold his breath. Waiting. When Gwaine remained still, his face crumpled. Tears filled his eyes, so many you couldn’t even see the color- streaking down his cheeks, dashing onto the man below. He caved in on himself, shoulders shaking, breath heaving, sobs tearing.

“...please...please wake up…. I can’t…  _ please _ …”

A tear landed on Gwaine’s face and he immediately animated, his eyes tearing open, confused and worried a frown twisting his lips,

his hands reaching out to Merlin.

“Mate- mate, I’m okay! I’m okay- it was a prank, I’m fine-”Merlin didn’t seem to hear, sobbing harder.

Gwaine grabbed Merlin’s shoulder’s pulling the boy into him, enfolding Merlin in an inseperable hug. Merlin him like a drowning man clung to a life preserver, burying himself into his, screaming his heart wrenching sobs. Gwaine held him, his eyes burning with concern.

“Merlin- Merlin, I’m okay! Eylan’s okay, we’re safe….”

The muffled thumping intensified until the inconspicuous door banged open, and a spaniard toppled out. Rolling head first, Lance crashed into the carpeted floor, a mile of rope wrapped around him like a straightjacket- leaving only below his knees and above his shoulders unhindered, silver tape over his mouth. He glared icy, burning daggers at Gwaine, who twisted around to see him, his face melting with relief.

“Lance- oh thank the stars! Go  get Arthur- and hurry!” Lance somehow, miraculously, leaped to his feet and dashed out the door. 

The minutes passed as slow as frozen molasses dripping as Merlin clung and cried, and Gwaine could only hold him helplessly. Finally the sound of feet thudding down the stairs finally came. Gwaine looked up at the door in anticipation, relief mixing with the guilt in his eyes. 

Merlin didn’t notice.

The door, for the second time in only a few minutes, crashed open, slamming into the wall, and Arthur, in all his red faced, sweaty glory burst in, with a freed Lance and worried Elyan behind them.

He drew short as he saw Merlin, paled. Shocked. Then his eyes hardened and his brows narrowed as he switched his gaze to Gwaine.

“Get out.”  Gwaine swallowed and nodded, tears and shame filling his own eyes.

“Arthur-” Elyan frowned, his eyes still on Merlin.

“Out! Now, or so help me I will find ecscaliber-”Arthur threatened darkly, falling to his knees beside the pale boy.

Gwaine nodded, slowly detatching his hands from Merlin and trying to pry Merlin’s from him, Merlin let out an anguished cry and tried to cling harder. Gwaine’s face crumpled and the tears spilled over his eyes, but his hands were firm as he gently turned Merlin away. Arthur took him and crushed the boy against him, One hand locking him in place, the other gently carding his hair. Elyan and Lance were at Gwaine’s side in a moment, hoisting him up and ushering him out of the room.

“Hush… it’s alright… they’re safe, Merlin. Everything’s okay… the scoundrals are fine- Elyan and Lance are okay… nobody’s hurt. Everyone’s safe…” Arthur continued mumbling his meaningless comforts, cradling Merlin. Slowly, Merlin seemed to grow aware of his words, realize what they meant. After several minutes, he began trying to calm down, dragging in desperate gasps only choke on his sobs.

“Hey- hey, you’re okay, you’re okay. Here, feel my heartbeat- listen-” Arthur repositioned the smaller man, his face twisted with concern, but his voice was soothing.

“There, listen to my heartbeat- that’s it… now breath with me, okay in through your nose, your smelling herbs Merlin, fresh, beuatiful herbs. In through your nose…”

Merlin gasped and sniffed, tears still streaking down his face. Attempting to obey Arthur.

“Hey, now your getting it. Just like that, there you go! ….now slowly let it out, that’s it, your blowing out the candle, it’s been a long day, but it’s over now. You’re safe. That’s it- brilliant, Merlin… never thought you’d make me say that, huh? Your alright… your safe… all the knights are okay… I’m okay- that’s it- there you go… just listen to my heart- nice and slow…”

Merlin was breathing better. No longer shaking and sobbing, just silent tears streaking and soft gasps as he struggled to get ahold over his

lingering emotion.

He gave the barest ghost of a smile.

“ _ Fas’ _ ”he mumbled, closing his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose.

“What Merlin? I don’t speak clotpole.” Arthur said, relief stretching across his features as Merlin smiled again.

“Fast… you said nice and slow like your heart… but it’s pounding like a dragon flies. I dinn’ know you cared…”

Arthur huffed.

“Don’t be stupid,”

Merlin gave a weak chuckle.

“Of course I care.”

Merlin’s small laugh died and his eyes widened commically, the surprise startling the tears to a stop.

Arthur chuckled, pulling back gently and cupping his hands around the pale boy’s shoulder’s, as he looked up slowly, confused.

“Merlin, you are the annoying, clumsy, irritating- infuriating!- little brother I never had. I’m never going to  not care.”

Merlin smiled softly, before something deep twisted in his eyes. He looked to the ground, seeming to shrink in on himself again. Arthur frowned, tightening his grip on Merlin’s shoulder’s.

“Merlin, their safe. They’re absolute imbeciles and I’m going to kill them, but they’re safe.” 

Merlin nodded quickly in agreement before raising his eyes to meet Arthur’s. 

“I-I know- it’s just… they kept falling and I thought…” Merlin began to shake again, his eyes filling but he growled softly and blinked them away. Arthur waited for a long, timeless moment. His face forever patient. Merlin lifted his head to meet Arthur’s gaze, smiling softly, but his lips trembled and his eyes filled.

“...I just… thought you were leaving me alone again…” He smiled, but tears slipped out, leaving tracks down his cheeks before he could scrub them away.

Now Arthur’s eyes filled with tears. 

He let out a soft moan and pulled Merlin to his chest, this time he was the one who couldn’t let go.

“Never again, Merlin… I swear, whatever I have to do...we’re here, Merlin… we’re not going anywhere, we’re right here....  _ never again… _ ”Arthur clutched the boy to his chest, burying his head into Merlin’s shoulder, his feverish mutterings now mumbled. Merlin held him, gently rubbing soothing circles on the man’s back, his face a mixture of something compassionate-concerned, and searing relief. They clung and cried for minutes, muttering small soothings to the other, slowly getting each other to laugh.

Merlin looked up after one such success, and his eyes locked on the camera, widnened. 

His brows furrowed and he scowled. 

He muttered something to Arthur and Arthur tore away from him, his body locking and his face morphing from a peaceful smile to a livid scowl.

“ **GWAINE** -!” 

Behind him flashed a flicker in Merlin’s eyes -surely a trick of the light- they seemed to glow gold-

 

_Error. Error. Error._

_Feed Disconnected._

Black.


	4. The Healing Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Arthur no." Merlin's voice sounded logical, like he were trying to be convincing.
> 
> "Arthur yes." 
> 
> "Arthur no-"
> 
> "No... no... they wouldn't... it's not their fault... they didn't know..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So, I originally wrote this chapter as three parts, but that was really weird and clunky so I fit it all together to make it a really weird long chapter- I'm sorry for the confusion, my friends, and for you new friends- Hi! Welcome, please disreguard any confusing author notes and have a good day!

 

 

Light.

The lenses focused on a pearecent pale carpet, jostling slightly left and right as whoever carried it walked.

"Arthur no." Merlin's voice sounded logical, like he were trying to be convincing.

"Arthur yes." 

"Arthur no-" he sounded more pinched this time. Higher. More desperate.

"Arthur yes."

"Athur-"

"No-"

"Yes, my sentiments exactly!"

" _No_ \- I mean  **No**. I'm not listening to you. I'm the King-"

"Your kingdoms gone and this is my house and I absoultely refuse-"

"Merlin, you were sobbing in my arms yesterday." The smugness was gone, replaced with a weighted seriousness. Soft, as if he could barely say the words.

For a long moment there was silence. 

The carpet never stopped swaying from the left to the right.

"Arthur, he didn't mean-"

"Like bloo- _inking blue_ he didn't." Arthur started passionately before abruptly stopping and amending, his voice softer. 

"He didn't-" Merlin started but Arthur barelled over him.

"Whether he did or not, his prank was too far-"

"So we prank him back? What will that solve? It won't change last night- and I'm fine! Honestly, I mean, yes, it was hard, but I was over-"

Arthur interrupted his voice deadly hushed, thinly veiling his fury,

"Do  _not_  dare say you were overreacting."

"But I was-"

"No!" Arthur exploded. "No, no,  _no,_ **no** \- It is  _NOT_  overreacting to cry when you think all of your family are dying  _again_  and you are powerless to save them  _again_ and they are going to leave you alone  _again_  after  ** _thousands_**  of terrible, heart-shattering, years in complete isolation- don't you dare say you were overreacting. Nothing you could've done would've been an overreaction." Arthur's fury died, broke. And he ended his rant at a shattered whisper, his voice thick and clogged.

Silence.

"Arthur, are you okay?"

Silence.

The bouncing stopped. The lense froze on an ordinary patch of carpet.

"Merlin. I don't know if I'll ever be okay about this. What happened..." His voice trembled. 

"It wasn't you're fault." Merlin said immediately.

Arthur scoffed darkly.

"It wasn't-" 

"Merlin, stop. You should not be trying to comfort me right now. Not after-" He cleared his throat abruptly. "Anyway, you don't have a choice. I'm the Prince and all the others are in position. Elyan and Gwaine are at the Blue Baiu Bar-" The lense began again, continuing it ever ordinary swaying.

"Arthur- they already feel terrible- their at the bar for heaven's sakes!"

"Gwaine's always at the bar, that hardly means anything."

"Not Elyan-"

"And Percival is sprawled at the doorstep, Lean's crumpled by the couch, Lancelot's on his way to the bar-"

"You corrupted Lance too?!" Merlin groaned.

"Lancelot said he would impale Gwaine if I didn't let him help. He came up with half the plan."

"Lance..." Merlin moaned, his tone confused.

Arthur continued on over the other man's protests.

"And I'm taking you- and all of our wonderful watchers who've all been loyally defending you and pronouncing their hatred for Gwaine-"

"Arthur no-"

"Arthur yes, and then we're going to position the cam-er-a, stage you up a bit, and give Gwaine exactly what he deserves-"

"I am my own man- I don't have to do anything!"

"You do an you will-"

"Oh really? Why, pray tell?" Merlin lashed sarcastically.

"Because if you don't not only will Lancelot stab, Percival rip, Leon do away with, and me bury Gwaine alive, but Elyan and Gwaine will never forgive themselves and will be plauged with guilt- festering with hatred at themselves forever."

Silence.

"No... no... they wouldn't... it's not their fault... they didn't know..." Merlin voice was layered in guilt, his breath becoming ragged, his voice pitching upward in slight hysteria.

Arthur sighed heavily.

"Oh Merlin...." then he cleared his throat sharply and continued on.

"So, the question is, are you going to leave everyone you love stuck in eternal torment, or will you give us the closure four/sixth of us deserve?"

The silence lasted an eternity this time.

"Fine. Fine, I'll do it." Merlin whispered, sounding resigned- his echoes sad.

"Great. But I told you you were. I'm the king. We thank you for your sacrifice. Now, I know your little Merlin heart cries at this sort of thing, so I promise you right now- no living thing died to give us the blood-"

### Black

But sound crinkled out of the speakers.

"Alright! I've replace the  _batter-Ees!_  But the little magic prision says it's trouble-shot. I don't know what that means so we'll just carry on, then." 

"Arthur, no!" Merlin's voice sounded somewhat panicked. 

"Arthur- no-!"

"That's what I-"

"No- I mean,  _no_! We are not doing this again! I am the King and I am stronger than you and you are doing this to help them heal! Now lie still, quit squirming- you're dying!" Arthur's voice huffed, from somewhere behind the black, sounding suspiciously out of breath.

"No- I've changed my- Arthur, it's everywhere!" Merlin's voice had inched even higher. Bordering on hysteria.

"That's sort of the idea- now will. you. hold. still?!"

"It's everywhere! It's so thick and cold and Oh Sparks! _I think I'm gonna throw up-_ " Merlin moaned, his voice indeed sounding ill.

"Merlin! Stop being such a girl's petticoat! Of course it's cold- would you prefer it to be fresh and warm-?!"

A gagging sound and a wet belch. Followed immediately by a pathetic groan.

"Merlin! Maiden's Leg's! Don't you dare throw up on me- I forbid it! Think about something else!" Arthur yelped, now his voice sounded panicked.

"Art'ur..." Merlin moaned, his accent thickening in his distress, making him sound even more sick.

"Pretend it's berry juice- no-  _don't think about food_ \- it's paint! It's red paint! And we're trying to redecorate your kitchen the appropriate Camelot red, remember? Just like our capes and my jacket and Percival's hoodie and Lean's watchcap and Gwain's sun-protection lenses- really we don't have nearly enough..." Arthur's loud reassurances trailed off as he grunted and huffed a few times, obviously still struggling with whatever he'd been wrestling with since the begining.

"Honestly, you've been in battle! Several! Your the Physician's son for Heaven's Sakes!"

"That was thousands of years ago!" Merlin protested, his accent fading and the indignance in his voice seeming to drive away the sickness. 

"Arthur, don't you think I've suffered enough? As if last night wasn't bad enough- you decide to drown me in-" his voice thickened on the last word as he stopped himself.

"Red paint. The honerable way for a Camelotian to go. Drowning in paint- what do you think? Too tight? We're not trying to strangle you, just make it look believable."

"Yeah, red paint..." Merlin cleared his throat and continued pleadingly "Arthur- I'm serious! They'll get over it but I don't know if I can survive thi-"

"No, it's a little too tight. You've got to tell me when you can't breath, Merlin!"

"After last night and now this-"

"You are not aloud to joke about last night, I thought I made that clear!"

"I'm not joking!"

"There- not too tight, and just tight enough to fool them- what do you think?"

"Arthur-!"

"Never mind, I forgot you're an idiot- oh hey! The cam-er-a's re-blotting!"

 

_Rebooting in...._

_Three..._

_Two.._

_One._

Light.

Color.

The world lit up at a downward slope, watching seemingly ordinary grey kitchen tiles with the insane inordinary mess atop it.

 Arthur rocking back on his knees, hands on his hips and a smug pleased grin stretched across his face, was looking down at Merlin lying on the floor. Merlin lay with his legs and arms pinned to his sides by a braided rope, his ivory skin tinged green, in an enormous pool of scarlet. It stained his entire front, smudged across his face, pooled beneath his disheveled raven locks, his eyes wide and wild.

"Arthur please-" Merlin begged.

Arthur laughed and opened his mouth to say something before his head whipped around, his eyes widening almost comically. He spun back to frame, his eyes hard, a wicked grin splitting across his face.

"That's the car- they'll see Percival any second-"

"I'm  **not** -"

"Yes, you are! So help me, Merlin- if I have to knock you out you  _will_  be dying when they walk through that door!"

"Arthur-  

 

"Merlin- this is the only thing that will help them allow themselves to forgive themselves!”Merlin shifted slightly, a guilty expression burning in his eyes.

“If you don't then they will be plauged by guilt and pain until the day you die,” He opened his mouth to object, brow furrowing above his eyes, but Arthur barreled on.

“-and then they'll be tortured with regret, eventually blaming themselves for your death,” Merlin’s eyes widened, his mouth forming unheard words.  _No. No. No._

“-and then two weeks later we'll have to bury Gwaine too because the guilt tortured him to suicide.” The guilt in Merlin’s morphed to horror as his mouth hung uselessly open. “Then when Gwaine is dead Percival will kill himself with grief of losing his best friend.” Merlin clopped his mouth shut, clenching teeth tightly behind closed lips and shaking his head desperately, his eyes a blend of horror and dread, as if Arthur’s words were comming to life before his eyes and he was helpless to stop it.

“Lancelot will channel the anger and depression from all the deaths and go out to save the world, burning in the hotel fire seconds after pushing a little girl out the window to safety.”  His head stopped twisting and he froze- locked.

“Leon will go mad with grief of failing his men and he'll need to be put in in a padded cell for his safety.” His eyes widened impossibly wider, filling with tears.

“Elyan will starve to death waiting at the lake for everyone whose never going to come back.” At this his face crumpled, and his body trembled as tears silently streaked down his cheeks.

“And I'll be extremely irritated because all of the could have been stopped if you had only listened to me and allowed them to forgive themselves!" Merlin stole a quick breath, scrubbing his face and recomposed his face as Arthur finally stopped craning over his shoulder as if they were about to be found and turned back to him.

“Fine.” Merlin croaked, clearly trying to sound normal. “Fine, fine. I’ll do it.”

Arthur grinned smugly, completely oblivious.

“Great. You didn’t have a choice, but I’m glad you feel validated- now, lie down and play dead- or dying- but your not well.” Arthur gently shoved Merlin back into the blood. With his skin tinting green and his eyes glistening with the ghost of tears he didn’t look well.

“Excellent. I’ll be over here-but from this moment on I’m dead.” Arthur rose to his feet, tossing an empty bottle stained red that had previously been obstructed from the camera’s view, into a trash bin in the corner, then buryng it under three stained napkins.

A heavy thump echoed from outside of the room.

Then Gwaine’s slurred shout:

“Ely’n- get ashold oh yoursehelf! Perc- ne’s help-”

Arthur’s face split into a grin like a child on Christmas morning.

“He’s drunk! Maiden’s Leg’s-he’s stoned!” He laughed, spinning to the counter opposite Merlin, falling to the ground in front of it. One leg under him, the other splayed to his side, letting his face fall against the counter propped up against his left arm, his right stretched out limp against the counter, reaching for an appliance knife rack. His body went limp like puppet with his strings cut just as Gwaine gasped loudly from another room.

“Leon ish too! The atc-tor’sh go’ inshide! Ely’n shtop pukin’- we ha’ shtoo fine- Merlih! Merlih?! Princ’ees?!”

Arthur stayed perfectly still, as though actually dead. Merlin’s eyes were screwed tightly shut as his body trembled slightly in the blood. His face was scrunched with pain. An impecible actor.

Gwaine’s usually delicate footfalls thudded irregularly until he stumbled into the kitchen. His eyes were wide with shock, and his clothes rumpled, and the larger growth of stubble than usual made him seem more feral than man.

“Princ’ees?  No- nono- Merlih! Thas blooht!  _Thas blooht!_ ”  His eyes left Arthur, widening impossibly further as they landed on the scarlet pool beneath Merlin. At Gwaine’s gutteral, drunken gasps, Merlin’s facade cracked and his eyes snapped open- guilty pools of blue fixing on the shabby man still locked in the entryway.

“Gwaine- I’m alright! I’m so sorry- I know you need to forgive yourself, and  _this is so selfish!_ I’m sorry- I’m sorry, but I’m okay-” Merlin’s words tumbled over one another, pinched and rambled and worried.

Arthur, back still to the camera, still curled in his awkward position- stiffened.

Gwaine’s face crumpled, tears springing to his eyes.

“Merlih- yer alive!”

Merlin’s eyes widened, horror surfacing in the brilliant dephs.

“Gwaine- no, no-don’t cry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Gwaine! But I’m okay and I’m-”

“No’h okay!” Gwaine huffed, his eyes still bright, the tears blurring his grey brown irises.

“Yer sittens in’a pilesh o’ blooht! Thas no’h okay!” Gwaine exploded, his eyes manic behind his tears.

Merlin jerked back, eyes widening impossibly larger and filled with tears that splashed down his cheeks until he was staring at Gwaine through breakable glass orbs.

But Gwaine’s tears seemed to have dried, recognition dawning across his face.

“Yer no’h makin’ shence, yer dyin’.” Then the time seeming to hold him to his spot in the doorway broke and he staggered into the room, a puppet whose strings had been cut. He stumbled over until he splashed into the pool of blood, sloshing some onto Merlin’s face in the process- making Merlin flinch and his entire body wash a tinted green.

“He’sh dyin-”

“No- I’m not, Gwaine I’m-” His voice sounded a clenched and strangled, eyes desperate- almost wild.

“Shush up- teeth cold falls down… dyin’  menss-menw-warlo-warbslo-  _Merlih’s_ shood no’h talh….” Gwaine murmured senselessly dropping to his knees beside Merlin, heedless of the red staining his jeans.

“I’m not dying-” Merlin cried- launching upward as far as his bonds would let him go, seeming desperate to prove his words. Gwaine reacted immedately- his hands darting out and he shoved the man back into the ground. The thud echoed in the kitchen, drowned out only by Merlin’s hiss of pain. Arthur’s back stiffened before his head snapped around, craining around his shoulder to see Merlin.  Merlin, face still twisted in pain, blinked dazidly up at the cealing. He shifted his head to Arthur, staining his right cheek red, and simply looked at him. Arthur frowned, the mirth in his eyes dying, simply looking back.

Gwaine didn’t seem to notice either had moved. His hands were still on Merlin’s chest, he frowned down at them puzzeledly.

“No’h my type…” Then he looked back at Merlin’s stained face and recognition dawned in his eyes.

“Awh… thas righ… blooht…”

Then he stole a quick breath and began haphazard chest compressions over Merin’s heart.

Merlin grunted and frowned, his eyes glazed, staring at the offending hands in confusion.

The worry in Arthur’s eyes vanished and he grinned at the scene, not even bothering to turn back to his prone position.

Gwaine stopped the compressions, nodding in satisfaction. Merlin wheezed beneath him. A job well done.

“Stey dowh! Now… wats the blooht meanin’....? Oh- pale raises theirs tails!” Gwaine’s glazed grey eyes hardened, and he he set his jaw and turned to Merlin’s lower half. He stared at it for nearly a minute- only stared.  Then he scowled.

“Merlih- theys stoled yer tails!” he sounded agahst- horrorfied.

Tears filled his eyes again. His face crumpled and the slipped down his cheeks.

Arthur huffed an incredulous laugh, twisting his body around until he was propped up against the counter, arms folded, and a smirk carving wider on is face.

Merlin blinked slowly beneath Gwaine. A frown still creasing his forehead.

“I have… a tail?”

“ _No’h anymore!_ ” Gwaine howled.

Arthur pressed his lips together, his eyes crinkling and his shoulders shaking as he tried to surpress his laughter.

“Theys stoled it! Yer beeutifull tail- I’m sorry! I’m s’ sorry! Imna ne’er drink agin! I’m s’ sorry-” His tears splashed down onto Merlin.

Behind them Arthur was turning red as a tomato as he failed to contain his laughter.

His laughter died as Merlin’s eyes widened and filled with tears.

“They stole my tail!” He whimpered.

Gwaine was sobbing to hard to respond and Merlin’s tears began to spill onto his cheeks.

The light in Arthur’s eyes died.  His smile died and furrowed into a frown.

“Merlin? Are you alright?”

Merlin’s breath was quickening, quiet little gasps, his tears streaking down his cheeks. He turned his head to Arthur, once again, splashing his face with red. He didn’t seem to notice, instead just stared at Arthur mournfully. But Arthur noticed. His eyes widened and his brows hardened over blue pools.

“Arthur, they took my tail…” He cried breathlessly.

Arthur shook his head slowly, his eyes undefinable, pushing away from the counter.

“No Merlin. You don’t have a tail-”

“No’h now!”

“No-” Arthur’s voice was higher now, his eyes large, panic flickering behind a facade of calm

“You never did- there’s no reason for you to be crying now- you haven’t lost a tail! You never had one- this is a prank, the blood isn’t even yours-!”

Merlin’s eyes were wide and wet as oceans now.

“ _Blood?!_ ” He looked at the scarlet pool beside him and his eyes grew as wide as saucers. He immediately washed white, and then dark green.

“Merlin-?!” Arthur glanced up- seeming to be searching for help- then his eyes landed on the camera and he froze, simply staring at it.

Then, in a fluid motion, he broke through time, his face twisting in a scowl, he sprang forward and the last thing the camera knew was a callused hand and ringing curses.

Black.

 

And sound.

“Did you-”

“I think I’ve gotten it-”

“It’s not doing anything!”

“It always take a moment when Merlin starts it-”

“It’s still black-”

“That’s because your thumbs blocking it you clotpole-”

“That’s Merlin’s word-”

“No, it’s no- oh.”

Light. A black object, a finger, growing smaller as it grew further from the lense, revealing several squashed pairs of feet on a pale carpet. The expertly crafted leather riding shoes squashed under military issued combat boots, the green tennis shoes  splayed one in front of the madness, and the other entirely blocked by a pair of fuzzy lion slippers at least double the size of the other feet.

“We got it-”

“No, Lancelot-”

Black.

 

And light. The camera lit up on Leon’s triumphant grin.

“-No he can’t magic a new one! He’s sick! That’s the whole point of this-”

"What'll he say? We're as bad as Gwaine! Breaking his camer-iuh-"

“Men, I’ve gotten it- no- wait that’s the button-” Black.

Light.

The finely crafted leather boots, then Elyan, walked into the frame, the lamp beside the blue sectional giving off a warm glow, making his chocolate skin seem to be outlined with gold.

“So I just talk to Merlin?” He asked.

The camera bobbed slightly as whoever was holding it moved.

“Yes,” Leon’s voice drifted from behind the camera. “But wait a moment, I have to turn it off again so it’ll start with you already there-”

“Wait,  why do we do that? Stop and start it so much, the viewers know when you turn it on again it’ll only be a couple of seconds later.” Lancelot’s question drifted from somewhere to the camera’s right.

“Merlin does it to ‘Eee- dit’.” Leon explaned, the camera bobbing up before straightening again.

“But we don’t even know what that means-” ELyan began, his brows furrowing.

“It’s what Merlin does.” Percival rumbled softly.

Silence.

Black.

 

Light, centered exactly the same on Elyan, only he was more solemn. His back straight and his eyes regretful.

“I am so sorry, Merlin. I did Gwaine’s prank because I was bored and that’s absolutely no excuse. I never should have... it was a cruel thing to do. And I never meant to-” He swallowed, pain lancing across his face.

“Remind you. I’m so sorry and I swear I’ll never do it again.”

 

Black.

 

Light. His chestnut hair, usually tied back in a tail, hung free in waves beside Lancelot’s face. That combined with the sad look gleaming in his eyes and the white cotten shirt and billowy sailor’s pants stuffed into riders boots gave the impression of a sailor at sea without any hope of returning to the land he loved.

He stared at the camera steadily, but his posture was slumped.

“I protested Gwaine’s idea from the beginning, but when I saw how much it hurt you I was blinded and I joined Arthur’s-  _No_ -I cannot even call it Arthur’s, it was mine.” Shame was thick on his voice and his eyes began to drift down, but he clenched his jaw and snapped them up to the camera again.

“I made the plan and I tricked Leon and Percival-”

A sharp huff of derision off camera stopped Lancelot for a moment. He looked over to the unseen person.

“I did.” He said, speaking to the person.

"We make our own decisions, Lancelot." Leon said firmly. Lancelot sighed and shook his head slightly before turning his sorrowful eyes back to the camera.

“I tricked them into being a part of a stupid plan and I chose which prank we would use and I put Arthur to the task of getting you to participate even knowing that you would hate too. That you would burn with guilt. That the bear's blood would sadden and sicken you. I chose Arthur selfishly because I knew he could convince you to do it. I know you’ll forgive him- forgive us all - no matter how little we deserve it- but I’m so sorry. I behaved selfishly and dishonerably, injust and unbefitting of the title you fought for me to have. I’m so sorry and I swear on my life I’ll never do anything like this again.”

 

Black.

 

Light. Percival’s hair glinted like diamonds in the light, but no poet could ever make the red burning his cheeks anything beautiful. It was terrible. Shame. His eyes were locked on the floor, unable to face the camera.

“I’m so sorry. You are a little brother to me and I have hurt you. I swear on Albion I will fight my whole life so you never feel the way you do now. I love you.”

Black.

 

Light. The angle was different now. Towering above the knight with his red hair flames in the light. But the camera jostled and jumped and shook.

“Percy, it’s alright- he’s only concussed, he’s suffered worse…”Elyan’s low voice murmured softly. Compassionately. The camera still shook.

“He’s better than alright- he’s got the biggest man alive guarding him-” Lancelot’s voice began. Leon, eyes softened strode forward, blocking the lenses.

Black.

 

Light, still the same downward angle, but the shaking had stopped. Leon walked back into the frame, eyes above the camera.

“There, you good now?” The camera bobbed once. Leon smiled softly.

“Excellent. Start the video whenever your ready.”

“I already did…” Percival rumbled, sounding confused.

Leon’s eyes jolted in surprise.

“Oh, hello everyone-I’m Leon,  I mean Merlin- no- wait!-”

The camera shook again and muffled laughs echoed from off camera as Leon went bright red.

“ _Hello, I’m Merlin-_ ” Lancelot huffed from beside the camera. Elyan only wheezed harder and the camera shook more ferociously.

“It’s not funny- shut it off-” Leon started forward, the slightest trace of a smile twitching at his lips-

Black.

 

Light. Leon’s cheeks were still tinged pink but his eyes were serious as he looked at the camera head on.

“In my first life, Merlin, I was raised from the time I could talk to defend the King. To be his servant in every capacity he needed to me. To serve and council and protect him with my life. The King at the time was Uther, but I knew in my heart he was never my King. Then Arthur became King and he was good, and I knew my place was at his side until the day I died.  But there was something missing. It didn’t feel enough. I was being silly, I thought, and I did the best I could until my death. But in my second life-” he paused, as if he knew was he wanted to say, but was hesitant to say it.

“In my second life,” he continued, the pink gone now.  Something hardening deep in his eyes. Steel forged by fire.

“I had another King. Two Kings. The King of the kingdom I gave my life to protect, and the King of magic I’d thought was my bane to fight. From the moment you pulled me from the lake Merlin, I knew you were my king too. It finally felt right. And ever since that day I have stood proudly between you- ready to serve however you need me- ready to give my life to protect yours.” His determined eyes softened slightly- weakened. Guilt shone beneath the mask.

“I failed.” He tried to keep his tone light, but the gravity in the words dragged it down. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I was a willing participant in something that harmed you physically, mentally, and emotionally, driven to this grievous action by nothing other than my own selfish and unthinking whims. I am so sorry and I will accept whatever punishment you deem fit, though I know it will not be enough-” His lips twisted in a slight smile “Sir Lancelot was right, I know you’ll forgive us instantly. Nevertheless, my King, I give my solemn oath, on my grave, the Forgotten Kingdom I fought for, and on my life, I swear that I will always serve and stand and fight for you.”

Silence.

“Two kings? Gwenevere would have a fit.” Lancelot’s voice teased, a smile in his voice. Leon’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“What do you-” Understanding dawned and his eyes widened as large as dinner plates. “ _Sir Lancelot!_ ”

“Don’t worry, sir, it’s only... _interesting_ if you think about it-” Percival added.

“Gwen might’ve accidentally said something as awkward as it herself back in her servant days-” Elyan laughed. Leon blushed scarlet again.

“Really sir, it’s nothing to be ashamed of-”

“Honestly, that’s not how I meant it-” Leon cried, striding forward, the tenseness in shoulders gone, as if someone had taken his weight away.

“Give me back the camera, we’ve still got to do Gwaine and Arthur-  _it’s still on?!_ ”

“I didn’t know how to turn it off!”

Black.

 

Light- well, very heavily filtered light. Almost black.

Sound.

“No! I refuse! Get that  _bloo_ -”

“Gwaine! Don’t say that-”

“We’re going to show this to Merlin-”

“-y evil contraption out of my face! I never should have listened to it’s stupid comments-”

“That’s the youtube, this is just the cam-er-uh,” Leon began but Gwaine bellowed over him.

“-Merlin is the best thing in the  _da_ -”

“GWAINE!” Elyan, Lancelot, and Leon shouted together, sounding apalled.

“We’re showing this to  _Merlin_!” Percival said, his voice shocked.

“-world and I didn’t care! I just listened that bl-”

“Gwaine…”

“ _Blinking!_ thing- I was so focused on showing off to that stupid camera and those stupid people with their stupid comments that I didn’t care that I was hurting the best person in the entire world- I didn’t even notice-”

“Gwaine…” a new voice whispered. Rattled. Barely recognisable. But the irish lilt was just there enough to desipher.

“ _Merlin…_ ” Gwaine breathed, his breath seeming to tremble with relief, his voice strangely thick.

Light. Not much of it. The deep red curtains were drawn tight above the bed, the room cast in a soft pink-tinted glow. Gwaine, face haggard, but dressed surprisingly in a freshly pressed shirt and breeches, spun away from the camera and darted to the right side of the bed, before dropping to his knees. Arthur occupied the left, kneeling on the pale carpet, his head limp, facefirst against the pale sheets, his shoulders slowly rising and falling as he breathed. Sound asleep. There, in the middle, nearly completely burried under an assorted pile of blankets and some strange large red cloaks, Merlin’s pale face, raven hair, and blue eyes peeped out, looking at Gwaine.

“Your awake.” Gwaine breathed, relief burning his eyes.

Merlin frowned slightly at him.

“Your shouting in my sickroom.”

Gwaine washed white, horror dawning in his eyes.

“Merlin, I am so sorry-” he began desperately. Merlin grinned lopsidedly, his eyes tired.

“For waking me up? I’m glad… I think Arthur was… drooling on my face…” He was fighting to stay awake. His eyes blinked closed for a long second.

“No- yes, I am so sorry for it all- it’s all my fault-” Gwaine cut off as tears sprung to his eyes, his voice catching. Merlin bleerily opened his eyes again. Blinking confusedly at Gwaine.

“What’s all your fault?”

“All of this. It was my stupid prank that made you think we were all dying and leaving you alone again and it was my-”

“Ang…” Merlin moaned beneath him. Gwaine’s eyes widened with horror.

“Merlin? What happened- are you-”

“Shut up…. Too many… words…” Merlin huffed, forcing his eyes open from where they’d been drifting closed.

Gwaine bit his lip so hard it looked like he might draw blood.

“Merlin, your ill. I’ll give you the apology you deserve later-”

“Exactly! Ill! How’s… that… your fault?”

“Merlin, you’ve been puking your stomach out ever since  _I_ slammed your head into the ground and gave you a concussion because I was drunk stupid and I’d-”

“...Augh…. Words…” Merlin scowled slightly. “Not your… fault. I was… already… going to… throw up. I was… in a… pool of… blood…” He mumbled.

His dialated pupils crossing lazily, before he jolted as Arthur let out an enourmous snore, sending them sliding back where they belonged.

“Merlin, it was my fault you were in that blood-”

“Ssshhh…..” Merlin hissed, his eyes bright and wide. Glazed.

Gwaine obediantly fell silent.

“You talk too much.” Merlin huffed. “It’s not your… fault.”

Merlin seeming to be done, Gwaine barreled on.

“Merlin, it is- and I am so sorry, and I only made it worse because I was a stupid drunk and I’ve sworn off the drink, I promise Merlin, I’ve pressed all my clothes and I threw out every bottle and I’m changing my act so I’ll always be there when you need me. I swear, you’ll never see me drunk again- I’ve not had a single drop and I promise-”

“ _Words…_ ” Merlin whimpered, seeming unable to open his eyes now.

Gwaine bit his lip again, his eyes swimming, withheld only by his determination.

“No, Merlin, I know they just seem like words. Empty promises, but I swear-” his voice cracked, deep pain twisting in his eyes.

Merlin  _growled_.

“No- I mean…  _shut up…_ ” Gwaine fell silent.

Merlin pulled his eyes open slowly, looking up at him.

“Don’t you dare… finish that… sentence… And… the other one… the….promise. I forbid...you...to swear off… alchohal-”

“Merlin- I could’ve killed you-!”

“...Because….” Merlin continued as if he’d never been interrupted. “You without… alchohal is like… someone normal…. without…. air. You’d die. As long as… you live… under my… roof… I expect… to be… protecting.... your … perpetually… drunk……….. backside. Have I… made… myself………..clear…?”  

Gwaine gaped at him. Shocked to complete stillness. Then he shook his head.

“Merlin-”

“ _Words...!_ ” Merlin whimpered painfully. He peeled open the eyes that had once again shut and glowered up at Gwaine.

“Shut up…. I forgive you, I always did. Stop blaming yourself. Blame Arthur if it makes you feel better, but  _please. shut. Up!_ ” Merlin growled, for once completely aware. Then, as if released from a magic spell, his eyes drifted shut and his head plopped back againast the pillow with a final  _clop!_

Silence.

Still.

Then:

“I need a drink.”

Black.

 

And, somewhat surprisingly, Light.

Well, sort of. They were still in the same room, but the light behind the curtains had dimmed, leaving the room in dark grey.

The camera lit up on Arthur, who had one arm stretched out holding it, and the other casually resting on the mound of blankets heaped in the general vicinity of Merlin’s knee. Merlin lay, sound asleep inside his cacoon. With Gwaine sound asleep on the floor beside him, much in the same way Arthur had been, but with his arms sprawled protectivly over the Merlin-shaped mound.

 

Arthur smiled softly.

“Hello everybody. In case your wondering why we’ve brought you along for the part of the journey after everything went to he-” he cut himself off, glanced back at Merlin behind him, before hastily adapting “-an interesting direction. It’s because we, well, my Knights, I wasn’t even aware we were doing it, actually, I was a little preoccupied. Anyway, we’re doing it because we know Merlin will wake up and be furious we left you all in the dark about his safety. He'd spend weeks fretting he'd worried you and praying to whoever he believes is above that he hasn't sent any of you to the hospital or your deathbed with worry, honestly...”

Arthur grinned suddenly.

“Actually, he’ll be furious about the apologies too. And then he’ll curl up into his blankets and cry like the woman’s petticoat he is, that ‘they were so sweet, and you all really shouldn’t have, you didn’t do anything wrong.'” Arthur rolled his eyes as he mimicked Merlin's accent.

“But anyway, he’s fine. Got a concussion, but believe me, it’s not his first- I mean, he’s going to be perfectly fine. Also, upon further reflection. The Emerys household has unanimously decided that we are done with any prankings. But don’t worry- I’m sure you’ll see us again soon. Gwaine’s already drinking again, so it won’t be long before he starts another scandal… goodbye, ladies and gentlemen.” Arthur paused and straightened.

“I now command this video be finished.” He said regally. He held still for a moment and then the world blurred as he tossed it haphazardly onto a chair. The color was muted nearly black now.

“I’m glad that’s over.” He huffed to himself.

 

~ Fifteen hours later ~

**Battery low. Battery low. Automatic shut-off initiating in three... two.. one.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Yeah, it feels really weird only writing a part of it, I'm really working on the next bit, but you all know how unreliable I am. I will write it. I promise. In the meantime- a small, poorly written chapter has to be better than nothing! Have a beutiful day/night!!
> 
>  
> 
> ~Edit~  
>  Hi guys! So, I originally wrote this chapter as three parts, but that was really weird and clunky so I fit it all together to make it a really weird long chapter- I'm sorry for the confusion, my friends, and for you new friends- Hi! Welcome, please disreguard any confusing author notes and have a good day!


End file.
